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I believe that porn makes women appear to be an object - as blufindr stated, "cumdumpsters." I find it very degrading as a women. It definitely was ruining my relationship when my boyfriend would watch it on a daily basis. Truth be told, I really am not okay with him watching it at all.

Porn portrays women as nothing but an amusement and causes people to lose sight of the true value in other human beings. When my boyfriend watched porn, he wouldn't make love to me. He wouldn't love me, hold me, cuddle with me, be passionate with me. He wouldn't consider MY feelings, all he wanted to do was FUCK me. He'd come and be done.  I had absolutely NO pleasure, it wasn't enjoyable at ALL.  Consciously knowing that your mate doesn't care about anything but getting off and getting some ass is VERY hurtful.  It DOES destroy the relationship.  My boyfriend can NOT watch porn without going insane and trying to mimic it with me.  I am NOT a trashy whore.  I refuse to let him do it to me. If he absolutely can NOT live without porn (have you guys even ever tried? pigs!) then I had BETTER NOT ever have to hear about or know about it, and he had better not touch me for the next six months. He can beat off ferociously in his hand but he is NOT allowed to treat me like I'm an object and beat me until I feel used, dirty, and broken. I'm so much better than that. I have standards. If I want it rough, I'll let him know.

Anyways - back on topic. He wouldn't be romantic at all, he'd try everything on me that he saw on the internet and wanted me to respond by being obnoxious and forcing my reactions like the porn. He'd hit me, pull my hair, etc. etc. Absolutely NOTHING romantic about that. Most girls really do NOT like that. I think that porn skews peoples' images of sex. It destroys intimate relations and makes sex so much more meaningless and valueless.

There's simply NOTHING attractive about porn. Honestly - what is so 'hot' about a girl who will take anything into her loose vagina/asshole? What is so special about that? Honestly - guys - if it was your dick in that pornstar, would you enjoy it? Really? A huge gaping hole that you have no idea where it's been? And have you really looked at those girls? They're used, beaten down, dirty...no thank you. I mean if you want THAT, you can just as easily take a trip down to your towns' hood and pick up yesterday's news off of the street corner. The only difference is a manicure and some obnoxious red lipstick.

A real woman has values, morals, pride, strength, and would not let a man demean her like that on camera for all the world to see. The women who are worth being with in this world - the ones with good careers, bright futures, mental stability, etc - are NOT the girls in porn. Just an FYI.

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WHOAWHOAWHOA.

Okay, there is actually more than one kind of porn.  There is the violently degrading type, where girls are coerced into doing very explicit things with men twice their age.  And then there is the porn where both partners are enjoying themselves, there is obvious chemistry, and in many cases, the woman is in control of the scene, not the man.

I'm sorry you had such an unfortunate experience with your exboyfriend, but believe me, not every man is like that.  My boyfriend and I watch porn together on a semi-regular basis.  If we re-enact scenes from porn, we do the scenes I want, and we have a safeword so we can stop when I stop enjoying it.

I'm not saying all porn is great and wonderful, but there are some forms of porn that are not as nasty as the rest, and it would be unfair to paint them all with the same cum-stained brush.

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Quote: from swizzle at 5:52 pm on Oct. 2, 2010

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I believe that porn makes women appear to be an object - as blufindr stated, "cumdumpsters."  I find it very degrading as a women.  It definitely was ruining my relationship when my boyfriend would watch it on a daily basis.  Truth be told, I really am not okay with him watching it at all.  

 Porn portrays women as nothing but an amusement and causes people to lose sight of the true value in other human beings.  When my boyfriend watched porn, he wouldn't make love to me.  He wouldn't love me, hold me, cuddle with me, be passionate with me.  He wouldn't consider MY feelings, all he wanted to do was FUCK me.  He'd come and be done. I had absolutely NO pleasure, it wasn't enjoyable at ALL. Consciously knowing that your mate doesn't care about anything but getting off and getting some ass is VERY hurtful. It DOES destroy the relationship. My boyfriend can NOT watch porn without going insane and trying to mimic it with me. I am NOT a trashy whore. I refuse to let him do it to me.  If he absolutely can NOT live without porn (have you guys even ever tried?  pigs!) then I had BETTER NOT ever have to hear about or know about it, and he had better not touch me for the next six months.  He can beat off ferociously in his hand but he is NOT allowed to treat me like I'm an object and beat me until I feel used, dirty, and broken.  I'm so much better than that.  I have standards.  If I want it rough, I'll let him know.  

 Anyways - back on topic.  He wouldn't be romantic at all, he'd try everything on me that he saw on the internet and wanted me to respond by being obnoxious and forcing my reactions like the porn.  He'd hit me, pull my hair, etc. etc.  Absolutely NOTHING romantic about that.  Most girls really do NOT like that.  I think that porn skews peoples' images of sex.  It destroys intimate relations and makes sex so much more meaningless and valueless.  

 There's simply NOTHING attractive about porn.  Honestly - what is so 'hot' about a girl who will take anything into her loose vagina/asshole?  What is so special about that?  Honestly - guys - if it was your dick in that pornstar, would you enjoy it?  Really?  A huge gaping hole that you have no idea where it's been?  And have you really looked at those girls?  They're used, beaten down, dirty...no thank you.  I mean if you want THAT, you can just as easily take a trip down to your towns' hood and pick up yesterday's news off of the street corner.  The only difference is a manicure and some obnoxious red lipstick.  

 A real woman has values, morals, pride, strength, and would not let a man demean her like that on camera for all the world to see.  The women who are worth being with in this world - the ones with good careers, bright futures, mental stability, etc - are NOT the girls in porn.  Just an FYI.

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WHOAWHOAWHOA.

Okay, there is actually more than one kind of porn. There is the violently degrading type, where girls are coerced into doing very explicit things with men twice their age. And then there is the porn where both partners are enjoying themselves, there is obvious chemistry, and in many cases, the woman is in control of the scene, not the man.

I'm sorry you had such an unfortunate experience with your exboyfriend, but believe me, not every man is like that. My boyfriend and I watch porn together on a semi-regular basis. If we re-enact scenes from porn, we do the scenes I want, and we have a safeword so we can stop when I stop enjoying it.

I'm not saying all porn is great and wonderful, but there are some forms of porn that are not as nasty as the rest, and it would be unfair to paint them all with the same cum-stained brush.

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i completely agree with you there blufindr. There are many different types of porn, and there is a vast percentage of them in which women are not portrayed as worthless objects. And i woould have to disagree with you (swizzle) about labelling women in the porn industry as "trash". Different people have different values. It may seem that your values are different to others, but that in no way leads to the conclusion that all women in the industry are "beaten down" and "dirty". They make up a small part of the huge number of people who entertain for a living. They are mere entertainers. Who's to say these women dont have morals, strength, and values?
And i agree with blufindr, seems you have had an extreme case in the past. But that leaves no room for prejudice.

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why, thank you for reading this!

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Quote: from blufindr at 6:15 am on July 27, 2010

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Depends on the porn.  

 Seriously.  
 Someone who watches porn often may absorb that particular "value" (and I use the term loosely).  

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I think this is the main issue. It is very similar to the violent video games/movies argument, which by the way has been proven to make people more violent in the real world. So yes, they would adopt the values in pornography. However, through proper education I believe that this effect could be dampened

I know from personal experience that from watching frequently for a year or so now I am starting to view women as sex objects more than I used to.  

There is a correlation between depression and pornography; no studies have proven which one causes it but from personal experience I can say depression makes pornography much more interesting.... Kind of the same reasons why unhappy people do more leisure activities I guess.  

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just because violent people like violent movies and video games doesn't mean violent movies and video games caused them to be violent.

similarly a non violent person who hates violence and is a pacifist might be less likely to enjoy shooting people in a video game.

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I stand corrected Wyatt,

you're an oak.

No, but pornography doesn't need to create wrong dispositions in order for it to be wrong.  It need only reenforce those wrong dispositions.

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Why did my signature change?

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Quote: from medjai at 2:56 pm on Jan. 22, 2011

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just because violent people like violent movies and video games doesn't mean violent movies and video games caused them to be violent.

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No, but pornography doesn't need to create wrong dispositions in order for it to be wrong. It need only reenforce those wrong dispositions.

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How does porn reinforce any "wrong" dispositions any more than a videogame does?

I mean, look at GTA.  Most people can play it and enjoy killing the on-screen people, and never so much as contemplate killing someone in real life.  Likewise, lots of people can watch really screwed up porn (cf. 2g1c) and not feel like what is portrayed is necessarily the "correct" or "acceptable" way to behave.

Post edited at 5:34 am on Jan. 28, 2011 by Prince o palities

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Why did my signature change?

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I'm not saying it does.  But Jared pointed out that violent people are attracted to violent video games, thus video games cannot be blamed for a preexisting violence.  Pornography doesn't need to have a causal relationship to bad behavior or dispositions in order for it to be wrong.  Someone only needs to demonstrate (or posit convincingly) that pornography legitimizes, reinforces, or intensifies the preexisting wrong within the user.

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I'm not entirely sure that porn "legitimises" existing fetishes.  Maybe demonstrates that it is possible to have certain fetishes that are consensual and safe.  But legitimises, no way.

Also, pornography = people bonking onscreen.  I'm okay with sex, actually, and I'm also okay with videos of people having sex being made public (provided it's consensual sex, it's posted with the knowledge and consent of all parties involved, and, you know, the people in it aren't triple-baggers).  So I don't think pornography in itself is "wrong".

Is porn the problem or does the problem exist beforehand and porn is just an outlet? I personally lean towards the latter.

The vast majority of people watch porn because they're horny and masturbate and that is the end of it. I don't think there's anything unhealthy about watching it for 20 or 30 minutes because your partner is unavailable or not in the mood or between relationships.

Watching porn out of revenge, airing home pictures/videos on the internet, expecting your partner to perform extreme acts from porn and such are obviously not healthy. But those are problems that lay in the personality of the person well before watching porn, not something they've learned or picked up from the porn itself.

The only place I feel like porn is dangerous is to youth because I feel like they absorb it more and do unintentionally learn from it. It was honestly creepy and unsettling to see posts in the Teen Sexuality forum here from kids who are only 13-15 asking about anal, fisting, threesomes/foursomes, orgies, facials, etc. I think it's healthy for teens to have safe sex, but I think 14 is a bit too young to have five guys blasting off on your face or having anal, especially since many of them are doing all of these sexual acts without protection and contributing to the massive spread of STDs.


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Holly.
Mama to Hunter

As far as it's affects on single people and/or society in general, I do think a lot of it objectifies women (not all, but a good portion), and it can give unrealistic expectations in future relationships. Most men and women are not porn stars, and will not perform like that in bed.

I'm against it in my personal life and the life of anyone I date, simply because I don't see any benefits to it. I think there should be more restrictions on it, so that minors cannot view it. As far as adults go, they are within their rights to watch it.

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On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

Not only does it blind you to the beautiful woman you may have in your life, it also blinds you to all of the joys in life which are non-sexual.

It's the equivalent of opening all of your presents before Christmas, of reading the end of every good novel on the shelf, or of writing a symphony of cadences. Not only does it make it more difficult for you to appreciate the overwhelming pleasure of opening the presents, the satisfying conclusion of a good novel, or the masterful resolution of the thematic elements in the symphony, but it also spoils your enjoyment of the subtler pleasures, the anticipation and suspense of Advent, the development of the novel's plot, and the exposition and development of the symphonic themes.

Sexual experiences are overwhelming, and our mind (in my experience) seems almost automatically to attach meaning to them. I'd be willing to bet that many people can't find meaning in life because they have grossly abused their sexuality, and are insensitive to the meaning they are supposed to find.

Post edited at 7:40 am on June 15, 2011 by NihilNominis

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Media vita in morte sumus: quem quaerimus adjutorem
nisi te, Domine, qui pro peccatis nostris juste irasceris.

Yes, because it can do several things:

1) Objectify women, which can be a problem if a man watches porn and then treats real women in the same way
2) Create unhealthy expectations of sex
3) Create body image issues
4) Become an addiction, taking away from work, social activities etc. - if a person is in a relationship, they may also choose to watch porn/masturbate over having sex with their partner, create hurt feelings and losing the closeness and intimacy necessary in a marriage
5) You can lose interest in things you previously loved that are non-sexual

No, also for several reasons:

1) Porn can help a couple get ideas (ie new positions) to spice up their sex life
2) Not all porn objectifies women and in fact, watching a woman in porn take control of her body and the situation may inspire a real life woman to do the same
3) Masturbation is healthy
4) Watching porn can be an activity that couples do together, with or without sexual acts accompanying it, to create intimacy

It depends on the porn and on the people, frankly. Each person's situation is going to be different.

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Masturbation does make you blind.  So does porn.  It makes you blind to the beauty right in front of you.  

Not only does it blind you to the beautiful woman you may have in your life, it also blinds you to all of the joys in life which are non-sexual.  

It's the equivalent of opening all of your presents before Christmas, of reading the end of every good novel on the shelf, or of writing a symphony of cadences.  Not only does it make it more difficult for you to appreciate the overwhelming pleasure of opening the presents, the satisfying conclusion of a good novel, or the masterful resolution of the thematic elements in the symphony, but it also spoils your enjoyment of the subtler pleasures, the anticipation and suspense of Advent, the development of the novel's plot, and the exposition and development of the symphonic themes.

Sexual experiences are overwhelming, and our mind (in my experience) seems almost automatically to attach meaning to them.  I'd be willing to bet that many people can't find meaning in life because they have grossly abused their sexuality, and are insensitive to the meaning they are supposed to find.

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Have you ever actually masturbated, had intercourse or done anything remotely sexual?

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Have you ever actually masturbated, had intercourse or done anything remotely sexual?

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What do you suppose "in my experience" was supposed to mean?

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Media vita in morte sumus: quem quaerimus adjutorem
nisi te, Domine, qui pro peccatis nostris juste irasceris.